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Have you ever had that knee jerk reaction when told to do something out of Mission Impossible –

“You want me to do what?!”

I’ve been taking an online course on blogging, whizzing merrily through the material until a section called “building an e-mail list” stepped on my emergency brakes. Suddenly, I found myself in brand new territory, flopping about like a fish half stuck in a heron’s beak.

I’m a life-long student and hope to continue in the hereafter. However, my quest for knowledge excludes mastering anything that smacks of technology. This abiding dislike is mutual as my computer and phone love to find new ways to frustrate and irritate me.

Technology. Add to this necessary evil my fear of being seen as pushy, that “look-at-me, I’m so clever,” aka self-promotion (which brings me full circle back to that danged required e-mail list); shake it all you want, the resultant cocktail is hard for me to swallow.

When I have to tackle something new and fearsome, I try to quiet my mind first (another near impossible mission) and start the day with my God. Oswald Chambers pointed me towards Act 1:8 and I tackled the verse in the NKJV Study Bible. The explanation of Act 1:8 ends “effective witness requires that we first learn to rely on the Spirit to help us.”

So, coffee cup (the one with the picture of my grandchildren) in hand, I sat back, closed my eyes and simply asked, “Holy Spirit, I need help” and my answer?

“Why aren’t you happy with what you’ve got?”

Well, that was not quite what I’d expected. Actually, I have no idea what I was expecting but it definitely wasn’t that. After a bit of internal dialogue I believe I mumbled something along the lines of wanting to get my message out there and my answer? Without missing a beat?


Not my strong point but I accept that building a following is going to be a long hard road. I truly don’t care if my scribblings ever make it to a “real” book, that strange, near obsolete endangered species, that object where words are printed on paper and you actually get to turn a page. I always thought I could reach more people with a blog.

But then self-doubt kicks in. I’m never going to increase my readership. Why should people read what I write? Is where I am the end of the road?

It was, once again, time to turn to someone so much wiser than me.

Thomas Merton.

“My Lord God I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that my desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”

Cyber hugs my friends, and many blessing.

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