I write because I cannot not write. Thoughts become words and the words demand to become visible. They wake me at 1.00 am, 2.00 am, 3.00 am and finally at 5.00 am, I admit defeat and get up. Sleep will have to wait.
But I’m not always fast enough. A fleeting thought squirrels through my subconscious and before I can get to pen and paper, it’s gone. Oh the frustration of trying to recall that perfect phrase, those perfect ideas for a perfect article.
So I take a deep breath, try to quiet my mind (I’m getting better at that), pick up some light reading, anything to get back on track. Reading? Well, yes, eclectic doesn’t even begin to describe my reading habits.
When in “Working Mode,” I could be surrounded by a couple of Bibles, some books by Oswald Chambers, Strong’s Expanded Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible and the computer open at a couple of websites, (Joyce Meyer, Ann Graham Lotz), plus anything else that might take my fancy. Come downtime and I’d pick up a cozy mystery a la Agatha Christie. I love these aging female sleuths that always get their man/woman. Think Agatha Raisin, Libby Serjeant, Mrs. Kaplan (and the Matzoh Ball of Death), Lady Amanda Golightly of Belchester Towers and more.
I also love the crazy supernatural. Vampires and witches and weirdos, bring it on, as long as good triumphs. Think
Hocus Pocus with the delightful Bette Midler or The Twilight Series. So way out, it can’t upset me, unlike stuff that could really happen. Stieg Larson equaled sleepless nights.
In my quest to find more fun stuff (think Sookie Stackhouse by Charlaine Harris and The Low Country Mysteries by Lyla Payne) I found myself following recommendations from other readers and websites and “One Fine Day” fun was fun no longer. Instead of being relaxed after reading, I was cranky, irritable, restless and angry. My downtime reading was moving more and more into a crazy and dark supernatural world.
Enter friend and fellow writer, Nancy Hickman, Life-Coach www.innerlightandwisdom.com to whom I laid out my predicament asking, “Is there anything wrong with what I’m reading?”
She answered in a few wise words. “They are to be taken seriously. A big culture in the here and now with dark arts.”
Drastic issues require drastic measures. Books still to be read and half-read books, where I’d just given up, on Kindle – delete. Paperback in similar ilk, donate to marina bookstore. End result? Peace.
I wondered briefly why God hadn’t pulled me up on this a long time ago but then I remembered. My road has been one of baby steps. I can’t imagine what I would’ve done had the good Lord dumped all these life lessons on me in one Waste Management Tip Truck Load.
Instead He’s been chiseling away. Chip-chip-chip. Years and years have passed and relentlessly the Master has been modeling and molding. It’s ongoing and it will be a still imperfect specimen that goes to meet her Maker. Sometimes the lessons are hard; sometimes they are fun and sometimes they are outright belly laugh funny. Thank you Lord for those.
I’ve therefore decided that being a Christian is like being on a diet. A life-long diet. Now there’s “food” for thought.
P.S. The same goes for singing. Why do I sing? Because I cannot not sing.
Cyber Hugs all.