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And you are left holding the “OY.”

There are days I feel myself to be such a failure as a human being.

I’m short-tempered. Irritable. Negative. Plain ugly.

But only to myself and with myself.

Now and again I slip up and the Captain, my nearest and dearest, catches a whiff of the storm within me.

Mostly not.

No-one I encounter would feel the brunt of my displeasure with myself. My outward persona is fine.

It’s the inner persona that’s a mess.

And therein lies the problem.

I can get away from people, places, situations and more.

I can never get away from myself.

Ergo, I must put up with this miserable specimen of humanity that is me.

I’m only punishing myself.

Which really is stupid.

I look for reasons.

I’ve been tired, stressed, rushed, under pressure.

I realize that it’s a long time since I last sat down quietly with my thoughts, my notebook and my Bible.

I ponder that I probably was a hermit in a different time and place.

I accept that these sound like lame excuses.

What to do?

I dig out the Hori-Hori knife of my faith aka, PRAYER.

No, I don’t turn into “sugar and spice and all things nice” in the blink of an eye.

It’s an hourly, daily, weekly, lifelong battle.

There’s no human cure, magic potion, silver bullet or drug of choice for this.

But there is Someone watching and listening and reaching out.

He knows the inner me.

He accepts the inner me.

He’s okay with that.

Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

Cyber hugs and Blessings All.

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