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Some years ago I nurtured this crazy impulse to go back to school. I needed certain credits. Society, Ethics and Technology, or something like that, sounded like fun. And so I registered for my first serious online studying experience.

Assignments involved reading and watching videos. Writing the required essay.

To my mind Watching Videos equated Talking Heads. And I loathe that! You click on a news channel on your computer and instead of getting something to read, some professionally groomed male or female head pops up and talks to you.

Please! I can read. I don’t want to listen.

Mumble grumble mumble….

But back to my course on Ethics.

I’m happy to admit that my worst fears were NOT realized. The videos were of places. Historical enactment and more. Altogether excellent. A BBC production.

And a narrator explaining.

It was fun. It was interesting. I happily submitted my first paper. And waited for that high score I just KNEW was forthcoming.

Well yes. It came back with a lousy grade and a nice comment. The prof essentially said –

“You’re regurgitating the narrator. Think and put in your own opinions.”

Dang! What?

Back to the drawing board.

For the next assignment I read, listened, watched and thought and thought and thought…..

I wrote my essay.

And got a near perfect grade and a lovely comment about how thrilled she was to have me in her class. She hoped I would continue.

I didn’t. Too time-consuming. Don’t know how kids do it. Taking a full course-load. Plus, I would’ve had to take the core subjects, college algebra, etc.

No thank you.

But that thinking for yourself thing. It’s like listening to a married couple bickering. Or a political discussion between opposing individuals. (Sort of the same thing….)

He/she says/thinks “this”……

She/he says/thinks “that”……

Somewhere in the middle lies the truth and the solution.

Think for yourself. Listen, read, think, think, think, understand (?) then –

And right now that’s where I’m totally stuck. I wish mystics would stop confusing me. I mean, really, how am I to interpret the following?

We are not punished for our sins;

We are punished by our sins.

If I ever do make sense of this, I will share the happy news with you. And if you make sense of it, please share with this poor bewildered seeker.

Cyber hugs and blessings all.


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