Select Page

I HAVE EYES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD.

When my daughter and her youthful BFF, Amélie, were small, they firmly believed I had eyes in the back of my head. If not, how could I always know what they were doing?

I would give them “rides,” holding a broom handle between my legs, one of them standing on the brush part of the broom, on the floor behind my back, as I dragged them around. They were allowed to change as they wish. How on earth did I always know which one was on the broom?  Well yes – the giggling and whispering and different body weights probably had something to do with my knowledge.

They weren’t even safe in their bedroom with the door closed! I distinctly remember Steph whispering “she can see…”

So no, of course I couldn’t see but as a mother I intuitively “knew.”  As Steph grew older I “knew” when things were going south. She didn’t need to tell me. And as the cutie-patootie turned into a teenager, I became less and less of a confidante.

After I’d changed her school for the second time, when the bullying and teasing became intolerable, there were throwaway remarks, as we drove past that original school,  such as –

“Mom, I would’ve done so well in that school,”

indicating sorrow, regret and a host of other feelings.

Yes she would’ve done well. She was smart, she was pretty but she’d burnt her bridges and the damage was irreparable. No help from that school and the “jocks” were untouchable. I threatened to go to the principal and can still hear her voice-

“Mom, don’t do that. You will only make it worse.”

So even though I “knew,” I couldn’t “be” there. I couldn’t protect her. As a human I was so limited in what I could do for my child.

But our Heavenly Father? There are no limits. Don’t ever forget He’s everywhere, in our darkest moments and when we’re sitting on our mountain tops.

Psalm 139:7-12 

“If I Could” 

If I Could
I’d protect you from the sadness in your eyes
give you courage in a world of compromise
yes I would
If I could
I would teach you all the things I’ve never learned
and I’d help you cross the bridges that I’ve burned
yes I would
if I could
I would try to shield your innocence from time
but the part of life I gave you isn’t mine
I’ve watched you grow
so I could let you go
if I could
I would help you make it through the hungry years
but I know that I can never cry your tears
but I would
if I could
if I live in a time and place where you don’t want to be
you don’t have to walk along this road with me
my yesterday won’t have to be your way
if I knew
how I’d try to change the world I brought you to
and there isn’t very much that I can do
but I would
if I could
if I could
I would try to shield your innocence from time
but that part of life I gave you isn’t mine
I watched you grow so I could let you go
if, if I could
I would help you make it through those hungry years
but I know that I can never cry your tears
but I would
if I could
yes I would
yes I would
if I could
 

Get in Contact with Ida