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As often stated before, I’m a product of that fine British institution, The Boarding School.

Those were happy years. Mostly. I’ve managed to delegate to the archives the nasty bits. Like a housemother that didn’t like me. To compensate, the cook, Ouma Dreyer, loved me.

But back to Apple Pie beds. This was a favorite trick. Mostly reserved for friends with a sense of humor. You did it with the full knowledge that at some time it will be done to you.

Really nasty tricks were reserved for someone who, in our juvenile minds, need to be disciplined. It was called “Send her to Coventry.” Our criteria for enacting this punishment varied. More about this later…

Apple Pie Bed.

You folded the top sheet in half. One end, got tucked under the mattress at the TOP end of the bed. The rest of the sheet got folded back as normal.

Step along with me into your ten-year old self. Tired, fed up with homework, cold  (it’s midwinter and no central heating,) you can’t wait to jump into bed and pull up the covers.

And then it happens. Your feet meet resistance. And you know. You know.

You’ve been Apple Pied!

Options. You always had options.

  • Get up, pull off the covers and remake the bed.

  • Scrunch into a fetal position and pretend you’re fine. (my pick)

The giggling around you would die down and everyone would drift off to sleep. You included.

But at some point during the night you’d wake. Uncomfortable and cramped. Shivering you climb out of bed to remake the danged thing. Tumble right back and go to sleep

So, now in my dotage, where’s the lesson?

Where have I, through the years “apple pied” someone? Without any malicious forethought –

  • Withheld a compliment; (maybe he/she rarely gets one);

  • Snapped at customer service over the phone; (they are only doing their job even if the seemingly unnecessary questions drove you nuts. Especially your health insurance….);

  • A hurtful remark; (you thought you were funny or you even thought you were paying a compliment – you had to idea how it was perceived. Color me guilty);

  • Not replacing the empty toilet roll holder; (I’m serious);

  • Not returning the shopping cart; (you know how much damage that runaway cart caused and she barely had money to pay her rent?)

And now for the biggie –

You passed on that tiny bit of gossip. Which, as gossip always does, took on a life of its own resulting in –

  • Loss of friends;

  • Loss of self-esteem;

  • Loss of promotion at work (been there, mine was the “apple pied” bed);

But hey, you’ve got that “tiny juicy bit of gossip” thing under control. And you’re proud of your control. You should be.

But don’t get too comfortable. Make it a habit, on waking, to decide,

No gossip or similar today.

Remember, one slip could cost someone a friend, a promotion, a job and worst scenario, their life.

Oswald Chambers phrases it thus:

“You can no more take off a day from being spiritual than you take a day off from breathing.”

Substitute spiritual with moral….

Cyber hugs and Blessings All.


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