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3-13-2003

Another year has rolled by.

Grief is a strange and wild and unpredictable animal.

You may think you’ve tamed it.

You may ride it confidently.

But then, in a moment of its choosing, it will rear up.

And leave you in the dust.

Bruised.

Bleeding.

Yes, Grief follows its own path.

You’ve gone through the Five Stages.

  • Denial and Isolation.

  • Anger.

  • Bargaining.

  • Depression.

  • Acceptance.

And you think you’ve arrived.

The painful times gradually grow less painful.

The time span between these painful episodes grows longer.

Recovering from a painful episode grows a little easier.

You’re sailing along merrily on the boat that’s your life.

You’re lulled into a false of security that all is good.

Then something happens.

  • A smell.

  • A sound.

  • A song.

I remember standing in a store between racks of dresses.

Suddenly, there it was.

Vanilla.

I was wrapped in the smell of vanilla.

She knew I loved vanilla.

Today my prayers are for those who have lost a child.

  • A miscarriage.

  • An infant.

  • A toddler.

  • A tween.

  • A teen.

  • An adult.

At the present time my heart goes out especially to families who’ve lost kids in school shootings.

The one place we think they are safe.

Where they should be safe.

They are gone.

But not forgotten.

I still talk to her.

Tell her about my day.

The family.

My friends.

The dogs.

What makes me happy.

Or sad.

Stuff that bothers me.

I often ask her advice. After all, she’s with me. Just in another dimension.

But then comes the times.

When I would really, really like to wrap my arms around her physical form.

When I need to hug her slight body tightly.

But I can’t.

Those days are but a distant memory.

Fading.

And I’m back in the dust.

Bruised.

Bleeding.

Cyber Hugs and Blessings All.

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